Love

“Lord, I LOVE him!  I absolutely LOVE him!!  I recognize that others may see an imperfect shell and see ‘disabilities’ but I don’t care about any of it.  I just love him.  I don’t need him to be perfect in order for me to feel love towards him.  I really really love him…so much!”

…and in the quietness of my heart the Lord whispered back…

“And I LOVE YOU!  I don’t need you to be perfect.  I don’t see your disabilities.  There’s nothing you can change to affect how much I love you.  I just really really love you!”

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“What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are.”  I John 3:1

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I See You…

Dearey children, you are the most precious gifts ever given to me.  When I was a girl, a teenager, a young adult dreaming about my future I never could have dreamt I’d have children as amazing as you….and certainly didn’t know I’d be blessed with so many. 😉  You are more than I ever desired or hoped for!  I know that God didn’t go out of His way to bring your mom and dad together from Minnesota and Washington just to give us a great marriage, but because he had seven children in mind that were destined to be born for such a time as this.  The callings on your lives are great!  His plans far exceed your expectations!

2.5 years ago our lives sure changed, didn’t they?  Our family dynamics changed.  Our relationships changed.  Our faith was tested.  Our priorities shifted.  Today I want you to know that no matter how busy I may be or how crazy life may get, I see you…

I saw you when Judah was in the hospital.  I saw your confusion. I heard your questions. And I appreciated your patience to let Mommy and Daddy wait until the right time to give you details.

I see you lay hands on Judah and speak healing over his body. I see you lay hands on his blanket, turning it into a prayer cloth. My heart swells with pride.

Isaac praying over Judah

I see your compassion when Judah is crying.  You stop what you are doing to run and find a pacifier, blanket or toy.

I see you patiently waiting for help on your school while I finish feeding Judah.

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I see you coming out of your room at night asking to share your heart.  We need that one-on-one time, sometimes, don’t we? It’s important you continue to share and ask questions.

I see your tears when you see other children Judah’s age and realize how much Judah needs to learn to “catch up.”

I see your servant hearts when you help us with Judah’s therapy, hyperbaric dives, feeding Judah, and filling his diaper bag for outings.  I’m so thankful for your help!

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I see you in church asking others for agreement in prayer for Judah’s complete healing.

I see your concern that something may happen to Malachi.  He’ll be healthy and strong.  No need to fear – trust the Lord!  Malachi is a restoration gift from heaven.

I see you worship. I see you studying the Word. I see you praying. I know God is strengthening you.

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I see you stand up for other children with special needs when those around you are uncomfortable or unkind.  Way to go!  I’m proud of you!

I see you enjoying your brother…laughing when he’s silly, teaching him new words, snuggling him when he’s sleepy.

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I see your tears when daddy or I leave for a weekend away in Gainesville.  Our home isn’t the same when any of us are away.

I see you run Judah’s stinky diapers out for me with a happy attitude. You’ve never complained. 🙂


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Ellianna and Judah

Josiah and Judah

I see your sadness and frustration when it’s harder for us to plan outings, or field trips, or play dates because of Judah’s needs.  I miss how easy it used to be to go out for lunch after church, or spend an afternoon at a park.  We’ll be able to do all these things again soon.  It’ll get easier.

I see you stay calm when mom and dad feel frazzled.   You’ve forgiven us each of the many times we’ve asked for forgiveness for losing our patience and peace.

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I see you out of the corner of my eye, listening and observing as Mommy shares her heart and sometimes tears with close friends and mentors…thank you for not interrupting.  Mommy is getting stronger. I promise. 🙂

And kids, not only does Mommy see you and Daddy see you; but your heavenly Father sure sees you.  He reminded me of this at our recent fundraiser.  Each of you asked if you could participate in the raffle.  I was hesitant at first, but then felt that it was important for you to feel a part of the special night.  I was absolutely astonished when I saw each of you win the exact item you had your heart set on.  All evening I pondered the fact that not only did God remind your Daddy and I that He sees us, He sees Judah, He sees our needs…but He definitely sees each of you as well and He blessed you with the desires of your heart that evening.  I know He is so proud of each of you.  You have already stored many treasures in heaven. 🙂

Josiah, Isaac, Ellianna, Rhema, Adonai, Judah and little Malachi in my tummy… I love you!  It’s an honor to be your Mom!

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Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Psalm 127:3

All Things New

Life is busy.  Life with 6 children is busy.  Life homeschooling those 6 children is busy.  But my goodness, life with a child who has special needs is a new definition of “busy.”

In many ways I feel like my life has been a whirlwind these past 18 months.  There are days I find myself asking, “What did ‘normal’ life ever look like?”  I can’t remember. . .

I recently had one of those crazy mom days. . .Moms, you know what I’m talking about.  It was one of “THOSE” days. . . life was spinning all around me and I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath.

“Mom, can I have snack?”

“Mom, can you help me with math?”

“Mom, I need a spelling test.”

“Mom can I have another snack?”

“Mom, when’s lunch?”

“Mom!!!!!  I went poo poo!!!”

I was trying to answer a million questions, referee fights, help with school work, make meals; but all the while I was also trying to make sure I was taking care of Judah’s needs.  Feed Judah.  Do therapy with Judah.  Spend a couple hours in the chamber with Judah.  Feed Judah again.  More therapy.  More chamber time.  More feeding.  More therapy.

So what did I do?  I wish I could say I grabbed my Bible and a worship cd and went to my prayer closet.  But oh no.  Not this day.  I hid!!   In the bathroom!  I locked my bedroom door.  I locked my bathroom door.  And hid!   And this time it wasn’t my kids that found me.  It was Chad!  I heard our bedroom door open, then watched our bathroom door slowly creep open.  There he was, my handsome husband, discovering me, his bride, the mother of his children, hiding in the bathroom with coffee in one hand and ice cream in the other.  ha!

So yes, my life is busy.  But in some ways it really has slowed down.  No really!  It has!  At the beginning of this year we made a conscious decision to slow down a bit.  At one point last year I was taking Judah to as many as eight appointments each week.  That usually included at least one trip to Tampa.  But you can only run at that pace for so long before something has to give.  We started noticing some symptoms in my health that needed attention.  And we also noticed our children needed their mama home again.

Please pray for us as we seek the Lord as to what therapies we should be doing right now and which doctors we should be seeing.  There are so many opinions out there of what is best for my son.  I want God’s opinion!  He knows what Judah needs and He knows what our family needs.

He is making all things new.  In my heart.  In my home.  In my family.  And in Judah.

Thank you for loving us, encouraging us, and praying for us.  Your prayers are what carry us through!

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And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.”